Tuesday, April 12, 2005

The Barry Zuckerkorns climb to 6th place

My fantasy team this year, the Barry Zuckerkorns (Adam's team name is Secular Flesh but the league started too late for either of us to name our team Sugarfoot), have now climbed into 6th place (out of 8).

Frank, we MUST know, who is the superstar on your fantasy team (people find it endlessly fascinating when you drone on and on about your fantasy baseball team, like when you predict how many saves your backup alternate reserve closer will get in July when he gets fully healthy again, but I digress), who is anchoring your efforts, thrusting your team forward (uh, huh huh huh, he said "thrust" again (see previous post))? Well, since you asked, my star player, my first round pick?

Yes, that's right, Barry Bonds.......

It's all uphill for the Barry Zuckerkorns now!

Full standings:

1 Natural Male Enhancement 59.0
1 The Bob Horner Experience 59.0
3 what it is was 54.50
4 secular FLESH 52.0
5 Three Finger Brown 43.0
6 Barry Zuckerkorns 33.5
7 The Aloha Asterisks 31.5
8 Drunk Groomsmen* 27.5

Why did I name my team the Barry Zuckerkorns?

From Arrested Development:

Barry: And you don’t want to go in front of that judge. I caught him in a drag club.
G.O.B.: What were you doing there?
Barry: Wow... you should be the lawyer.

Barry: I got Michael out of his marriage, didn’t I?
Michael: Actually she died.
Barry: You’re kidding me. I’ve been taking credit for that for years.

Barry: If you really want to settle this, then your job is to convince that “wife” of yours that you are willing to go in front of the judge and admit that you never had sex.
G.O.B.: She has a name, Barry. You don’t happen to know when it is, by the way, do you?
Barry: That’s why I want to settle. I’m not “super-prepared.”

2 comments:

Big Bill said...

youre right frank their is nothing we like more than listening to drivel on and on about your bonds-less team. Go zuckerkorns

Frank Garrison said...

Hey, Barry may be back by mid-May. Onward and upward Zuckerkorns!